TIME

It’s 9:29am on the morning of September 11th 2006. I am observing a moment of silence championed for our company by our fearless leader in remembrance of the events and that lives affected on 9/11.

I chose the title of “TIME” for the entry an a few accounts.

1. Last night as I laid in bed reading before I fell asleep, I heard the “tick/tock” from a watch I had recently purchased; it had been several years since I had heard this sound. The last time I’d hear this tick/tock was as a child growing up in Guyana, S.A. from an old clock that my parents had (the ones you had to “wind up” every day for it to tell the time correctly.)
   
2. I was running out of time in my current class, I had literally hours left to complete several assignments and all I could do was think of each tick and tock and how time literally passes and deadlines and milestones arrive without control.
   
3. Five years had gone by since the dreadful day for so many of us, and time has still not healed the wounds.

It’s ironic that I heard the tick/tock last night, I was amazed at the fact that we still manufacture watches/clocks that made these sounds and at first I hated the sound but slowly embraced it as a tribute to the fact that I do operate on time and every so often I forget that its just passing me by.

As I read, Deepak Chopra, he wrote something to the tune of … there are no losses in life, for life operates under the structure of Karma and in Karma everything is in equilibrium, hence, losses are just energies re-assigned and in some way it all equals out in the end. (I am a horrible para-phraser, I know)

While I drove in, I listened to 99.5 PLJ, I had just made the same phone call I make the morning of every September 11th every year since and probably will continue to make for the rest of my life. I had called Jap Papanestor, my friend and co-worker who faced the day together with me. I still remember the moment vividly where I said to him, Ann L and Rachael B “Guy please don’t follow me, this is a situation of life and death and I would hate to have you all follow me and die because of my choices” .. they all started at me blindly and followed me nonetheless. Luckily, we were out of harms way and all made it home alive that day.

But even if we never lose or gain anything in life, we can’t forget, I listed to the radio driving into the midtown tunnel, and it felt like time stood still during the times between the impact of the first plane and the second, and it felt like we will never forget the events of that day. Till today, I can cry (I am a grown man) instantaneously when I hear the national anthem in the context of 9/11. It happens to me at every baseball game that I attend at Yankees stadium and I choke up every time I see it on TV.

MBA 540 is over and MBA 550 is on the way. I learned a lot in this class but will probably get a B+ simply because I lacked time to get my participation credits.

Time I tell ya, with its gentle tick/tock it really defines our lives.

As I pulled out the midtown tunnel and turned onto 40th street into the parking garage, I turned off Scott and Todd on the radio since I didn’t want the parking attendants to endure the emotions that were on the radio as they parked my car.

I walked out the parking garage and up 40th street to my regular morning coffee vendor, and as I looked at him (he is middle eastern) I realized that we had neither lost or gained anything since 9/11 2001. More importantly the five years that has passed has not brought any healing for I still felt the anger, I still felt the divide and every time someone says to the families of the victims that “time heals everything” I know for sure they have never heard time, for time is simply tick/tock and in matter of these types it brings no peace.

As I entered the elevator and walked to my office, I shut the door and sat down to pen this entry I knew for sure, that I had not lost or gained anything, but time had passed by, and cyclically every year on this day, I am only able to find perspective, even if its just for one day of the year.

God Bless America.

Richie Etwaru